So during the last week or so, my testicles have been itching something aweful. I didn't know what was going on, or what caused it. At one point I scratched them so bad, the skin became red and inflamed. I have later traced it to a soap I bought which contains 1% Salicylic Acid, and is intended to be used on the face primarily.
Facial skin is extremely resilient and can take a lot of punishment. For example you can splash very hot water on your face, that you can barely hold in your hands. This is definitely not the case with the skin around your testicles, as many of you probably found out over the years.
So far, there were two mistakes I knew never to repeat with my testicles:
- Nude sunbathing without sunscreen on the testicles (A high SPF sunscreen!)
- Shaving your testicles with a razor, the wrong way (may cause tiny blood clots under the skin!)
I shall add this new one to my list of things NEVER to do with my testicles:
"NEVER WASH TESTICLES WITH SALICYLIC ACID SOAP!"
Anyway, I was at a complete loss. At first I tried the good old "Let the body fix it on its own" tactic, I was being very strong and didn't scratch then even a bit, but the itch only became worse. Then I tried baby oil, sesame oil, facial lotions, multiple showers, dove nutritious soap, honey oat soap, none of it made a difference. In fact, my testicular skin was more irritated than ever, it became kinda rough and very tough to the touch, all shrunken and shriveled. It was really quite horrible.
Yesterday came the epiphany - I was extremely aroused by my hot wife and we had hot steamy sex. I came all over her back, roaring like a lion, and suddenly I thought, hey, I remember reading about women using sperm on their faces to make their facial skin look young again, get rid of blackheads, etc. Maybe it will work on my own testicles?
So I grab a fair amount of my own sperm, rub it all over my testicles on the affected areas, expecting it to burn. It didn't burn at all, in fact it felt kinda nice. A few minutes later we showered, and an hour later went to bed. I woke up this morning and witnessed a miracle. My testicles were soft again, relaxed, and looking very happy. My wife touched them and confirmed I've been cured!
I feel very lucky, more educated about my own body, and smarter from the experience. It is my hope this will help a fellow man with itchy testicles!
