Background Story
This was one of my first dates since arriving in New York. At the time I was looking for Jewish women exclusively. My philosophy was to be on as many dating sites as possible. Cast a wide net, so to speak.I found this date on POF (Plenty Of Fish), where I also found another horrible date (subject to another post).
It started pretty standard, even though she sounded a bit weird. I couldn't put my finger on it, but you know how it is when you just start talking to a new person - you're nervous and excited and hopeful, and you tend not to notice some warning signs.
She was living by herself and had a job at an accounting firm, which normally means a person has his shit together, and I took it as a good sign. She lived in some crap town in New Jersey, so I decided to stay with my sister in Princeton, and use her car to get to my date. I traveled to my sister and set a date with the lady.
First Date
We meet in a Starbucks and it doesn't take long for me to notice that she's somewhat retarded. On the other hand she had some redeeming aspects (ok, she had large tits, there, I said it). I try to be nonjudgmental as much as possible, but what do I exactly mean when I say "retarded"? She was just plain stupid, and in a noticeable way. It wasn't just the blank gaze in her eyes, the intonations and slow speed of her speech, the poor vocabulary and improper structuring of sentences, but also a terrible lack of knowledge or interests in anything... interesting. Let's put it this way: She did not possess the required level of intelligence to become a potential long term partner for me. I really hate to admit this even to myself, but I've never had a more dull conversation partner in my life. I swear even a 5 year old would be able to hold a more interesting conversation.To make things worse, a few things she said worried me - She told me she had a pretty bad relationship with her parents. Turns out she was kicked out of their house at some point. Also, turns out that her father thinks she's stupid (duh), but also told her that openly in front of others, repeatedly. I felt sorry for her. Even if you're stupid, you don't deserve to be shamed in front of others. It is also a core Jewish value not to shame someone in public, and it told me a lot about the kind of deteriorated values in her family. I had many theories about the dynamics in her family, but it wasn't my place to analyze that on a first date so I let it go. I also discovered she was just a data entry employee, not an accountant or anything grand like that (don't get me wrong, data entry is a totally fair job to hold, especially if you're a student looking to make ends meet). She was barely getting by on her meager salary, and was in fact quite broke (to say the least).
Our conversation was pretty silly and stupid, and I was quite unimpressed by her. I guess she sensed it, because she tried to display value in various ways but even those attempts were laughable and failed to impress me. Still, I kept appearances and spent an hour with her, talking about the stupidest subjects one can imagine. We end the date, go to the car, and sit in the car for a bit. This is one of those moments where you have an attractive lady next to you, you know she likes you (she said I look good, when we first met, better than in my photos). But you also know what goes on in that brain of hers (hint: not much), and you tell yourself it would be a bad idea. Still, the conversation flows towards music, we talk about some crappy bands, and then she throws some sexual insinuations, which I elegantly deflected (play it dumb, always works!). I drive her to her car and we say our goodbyes.
Second Date
This time we met in a restaurant. It was not a fancy restaurant, partly because I didn't know anything better in the area, and partly because I had a feeling it wasn't going to work out between us, but just because I decided to give it one last chance before I throw in the towel, didn't mean I had to spend a lot of money on my date, hence the simpler restaurant.Why did we have a second date? She texted me and wanted to meet again. She felt that I may have gotten a bad impression of her on the first date, and wanted a second chance. I'm a good guy, and I couldn't just reject her over the phone.
So we order food from the menu, and I notice she orders some pretty unhealthy food from the menu. I decided to ignore that, and ordered my food. She says she will quickly go to the bathroom to wash her hands. I stay there and wait, thinking that so far there were no incidents...
The long wait
Some 10 minutes pass, the starters arrive. I don't touch them, thinking she will be back any minute now. Another 10 minutes pass, the waiter brings the main courses. I kid you not, when I say that another 10 minutes pass! The food is cold, I'm worried that maybe she fainted in the bathroom, or maybe she bailed, but no, her bag was still there. What should I do? I had my laptop bag there, and her bag, plus I really needed to pee by now.I decide I can no longer wait to pee, and got up to go to the bathrooms. I discover the restaurant has a bar section behind a wall, and that's where the bathrooms are. Except my date wasn't in the bathroom at all. She was sitting there, watching a football game on the screen.
This is where we go back to the "retarded" thing I mentioned earlier. I tell her that the food arrived a long time ago and is already cold. I tell her that I waited 30 minutes for her, and in the end, had to get up to pee. I ask her if she thinks it is normal to let me wait there like an idiot for 30 minutes. Her response? It wasn't 30 minutes, she was barely there 3 ~ 5 minutes!
I don't respond. I just go to the bathroom, pee, wash my hands and go back to the table. She's sitting there, eating (she didn't even have the courtesy to wait for me). I eat whatever food was salvageable on the table, without really having an appetite. It's quiet, too quiet. She realizes I'm upset, and instead of owning up to it, she explains that she was curious about the game and just wanted to see how the game was going.
I don't respond to it, and despite her thick skull, she realizes there is no future for us. I pay the bill and we leave together. I drive her to her area in the parking lot, and say goodbye politely. To me relief she leaves without much fanfare. But does it end here? Of course not.
She's out of gas!
I get a phone call about 2 minutes later. It's her. What's up, I ask? She's out of money for gas, is low on fuel, and she fears she might not make it home. I'm like, seriously? But I'm a nice guy, I can't let a lady become stranded on some highway somewhere... a guy has to be able to live with himself and his actions/decisions.I ask her if she can make it to the nearest gas station, which was not far from the restaurant where we met. She says she's already there, just doesn't have money. I offer to come and help her fill up her tank... I drive there, look at her fuel situation, ask her how far she lives, and decide that a $20 should cover it. With her car refueled, and with a simple thank you, she leaves, and I truly hope it is the last I hear of her. But does it end here? NO.
She's out of internet connection!
A week goes by, she starts texting me. I ignore her at first. After a while I decide to ask her not to message me. She says she needs help. I'm like, OK, how do I get into the picture? She explains that she's kinda broke right now, and isn't going to get paid for another two weeks, but her internet will be disconnected in 2 days if she doesn't pay her bill today. I'm like, Ok, but I'm not even in the area, how can I help with that? She says, why don't I get her my card details and she will pay the bill with my card. I'm like, seriously?! Wait for it... here's the kicker: She says, why not? What are you worried about? My ex boyfriend gave me his card details!At this point I told her I don't want to help, and I am not interested in talking to her and please leave me alone. I hang up, and she keeps texting me. This is where my phone's ignore feature came in handy, and thankfully, I have not heard back from her since.
